Love is the greatest commandment as the Bible describes it. This is just a four letter word but the weight it carries is beyond human imagination. There is no one person who cannot love and there is no one who doesn’t want to be loved. Love is the greatest thing that anybody can offer and it cannot be sold or bought in the shopping malls, it can only be shared. You cannot put a price tag on love because it is simply priceless. Apart from the fact that life is the greatest gift, we can’t be able to phantom living our lives without being able to love someone or to be loved by somebody. This is one of the most fundamental things that keep us going in life. It is in our nature to love and therefore we cannot be taught how to love somebody per say, we can only be taught how to treat or talk to people in a loving way. This is what makes us who we are and make us do the thing we do to others or even how we relate with them. This not only applies to people but also to things/ beings like pets, jewelry, paintings, and e. t .c. Basically, love is termed to be life by many people and it is simply the best since you can never give or receive enough of it and you can never exhaust it. (Ridley, 2003)
One of the many results of love is the fact that it brings about romantic relationships which is the happiest feeling and most complicated known to man. This feeling of love and being close to a person and the innate need to share our feelings with somebody is ever present with us. Though this comes almost automatically, humans take a lot of time to love. This whole process begin when you identify you partner through attraction to that person. This comes about when you look at somebody and you like what you perceive with your eyes. This really tells us a lot about our biological nature because hormones start being secreted in our body and that is what causes that strong attraction.
Wooing the partner that you have identified is the way to go about knowing him/ her. Socialization comes in handy because there has to be a connection made between the two parties involved. Without this aspect of social-cultural interactions there cannot be any relationship being built up. This also helps us to create a good rapport with our partner and this in turn puts away a sense of inferiority if one arises and it creates an atmosphere that is comfortable for the two parties to exchange thoughts. May counselors would agree that communication is key in any relationship. Apart from love and sex or other gifts, communication is the best way to sustain a relationship. In some cases depending on the cultural beliefs of some communities, some marriages are arranged by the parents and some are done to collate two families for the purpose of gaining mutual financial benefits from each other. In such cases sex is the only thing that keeps that family together also fear of the parents who arranged the marriage. But through communication yo can be able to complement each other and get other points of view from your partner on a particular matter especially those pertaining your relationship/ marriage. Communication is also a way of realizing stress and tension. Simple and sensitive matters are quickly solved this way and usually very little damage is caused. It can also be a way of healing. It helps a lot to open up to your partner and speak out what is in your heart instead of heaping grudges which will translate to become bitterness and this alone can “chock” the love that you have for your partner. When bitterness comes in love cannot stay and subsequently the relationship cannot be sustained if there is no love.
Communication brings about knowledge of your partner. By this, you can be able to understand him/ her better and in turn you learn more about him/ her which you could not have discovered on your own. Since knowledge is power, you can know do things with much confidence knowing that your partner is confident in you and in what you are doing. For instance some wives would not allow their husbands to go to a business trip because the already have it in their minds that the husband will definitely cheat on her even though the husband have no intentions of doing such a thing. But once you come to understand your partner, everything in your life turns over a new leaf. Learning is a process and you cannot expect to know everything in a single day, but with time you can become better as you understand each other and learn to appreciate one another. Sexologists usually say that encouragement works better that criticism even when it comes to bedroom matters. You can learn what your partner prefers, what position and where and how he/ she likes to be touched. All this is learning and until we do it on our own we might never know it because love involves very deep and strong feelings between two people.
Now that you have understood your spouse you can also find out what more can he/ she enjoys based on the knowledge and understanding that you have. This will not only inspire you it will also rekindle you love life as a couple. You can be plot full and think of doing something fun with your spouse, sometimes, just to remind yourselves how you met or do something that you both enjoying doing. Cognitive brings out a lot in ones character and his personality. When you do such things, the person feels and wanted. This also release stress and make you feel comfortable around other people. It is usually good when you can see more than what meets the eye. When you are able to do this, you can make surprises to your spouse and this is very healthy in a relationship since you keep the fire of love burning. Buying gifts also come in handy. We are told that this is not really important but the message the gift contains is what really matters. Learning to give gift means that you are thinking about the person to whom you have given the gift to. It shows that you really valuee that person and that they mean so much to you.
We understand that women are emotional beings and that most of their thinking is done through emotions and not critical thinking like men. This is so wonderful because if we were all to think alike then we would not have the best way to complement each other in that area because we would be having more or less the same point of view. But since this is not the case, we can be able to think differently and do things differently. Psychodynamics helps us understand such truths and we can appreciate the fact that we are different. We can apply this technique even in our personal life. For instance we should always be telling women kind words because they love to be talked to. When you tell a woman a kind word, to a man he may take it lightly but to a lady it might mean the world to her. This is what I refer to complimenting each other. When we understand how each one of us is different and we have different needs we can be able to meet those need in a very loving way and in the same kindness we can also be reciprocate the same way. (Brown, 2009)
Some people may suffer from childhood fears and failures which could make them uncomfortable even to talk to their partners. Some may have some fear and worries about the past and even sharing them with their spouses may be difficult. But when you get to learn how your partner reacts to some situations or how he/ she behaves when you talk to her about something that touches a sensitive matter, then you can be able to help him/ her out. This should be done with much kindness and with much love in order to make it easier for them to open up to you and tell you what is actually in their hearts. When this happens it brings healing to that person and much trust is gained because now he or she can find it very easy to talk to you concerning any matter because now he/ she has trusted you enough to reveal his/ her secrets to you. This goes a long way not only to overcome fear or past failures but also it gives a person high self esteem and much comfort when you are able to overcome such things. This is so important because it can go a long way to saving your marriage through the eradication of self pity in exchange of giving one a self of belonging and self worth. Now the person can value him/ she not based on what other people say but what he says about himself. (Sigmund, 1953)
Finally, I can say that we all have the same nature of love and it is our mandate to express it to others and in return we can also experience this love from others. After all, we cannot help it but to love other because it is in our nature to do so. This is what the good book says that God is love so if we are to live according to His statues we must live in love. Therefore, we ought to cultivate this love in us and nurture it if we are planning to live a life that is full of love and rest assured we will live a superb life which is full of love.
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